3/29/13

pulling ground glass from my ears.

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3/17/13

doing yoga with a ninja.

2/02/13

I took my scalpel, jammed it up between your testicles and gave a real good twist. This is about one of you, feel free to speculate amongst yourselves and I’ll sit here and enjoy the carly simon of it all.

2/24/13

I was Lindsay Lohan’s baby sitter in six inch stripper heels. talk about a nightmare…

2/11/13

somehow watching a toad give birth from her back gave me the idea to create dark chocolate covered jalapeno poppers stuffed with toasted coconut and salted caramel (there is another ingredient but i am telling)

2/05/13

by the time i knew what kind of monster he was it was too late, we were bound. leaving was not an option, he’d be loose in the world, so i had no choice but to sit and wait. the day came where we were walking narrow icy bridges over frozen lakes, he slipped, and maybe i tried to help, but maybe i didn’t try that hard.

1/31/13 #2

i was the hamburglar.